The importance of HOPE in your messages

This morning I woke up after breaking the rules.  My (amazing) therapist has been working with me to ensure mornings don't overwhelm me.  My rules?  I have to wake up and get up when Dillon does (8:30-8:45), I'm only allowed one "cheat" day a week (have to wake up at 9:30), and when I have a cheat day I have to get up right away (no hiding in bed).

Today was my third cheat day of the week.  I keep blaming Daylight Savings Time, but I'm really just kidding myself with that.  In addition to being a cheat day, I then spent half an hour in bed, answering emails (before these rules a surprising amount of my work was done before I ever left the bed, since a lot of what I do is via email).  Oh, and of course I checked Facebook, because that's what you do when you're feeling depressed and isolated and scared to face the day right?

(More after the jump)



As I'm scrolling through my news feed, this photo came up:

 Yeah, someone in my friends list liked this.  Let me tell you, my first reaction was a giant "Fuck you", and I said as much in my comments on the photo:
 "As someone with Major Depressive Disorder who spent literally YEARS trying to use any method of fixing or curing my depression other than pharmaceuticals, I would like to say very loudly, go fuck yourself. Evey herb, every diet adjustment, every chiropractic visit (hell, I work for a chiro and have been under treatment with him for 3 years), every massage... did nothing. CBT was ok, and was really my "cures the symptom" solution, but it certainly wasn't a cure. Getting on the right medications? I can live and enjoy life again. Daily little tasks like doing the dishes aren't insurmountable hurdles. This slide is useless and not only encourages people to NOT GET the help they may need, it doesn't then offer help or a solution. Every person who has seen this and not gotten medications that could have saved their lives is a potential suicide. And every one of those suicides is on the hands of anyone who has shared or liked this. Big Pharma may be bad in so many ways, but don't tell people that the medications won't help"

 That is my gut reaction.  But what I didn't get into in that little wall-o-text angry response is the importance of HOPE in your messaging.  It doesn't matter what disease you have, but very specifically if this message is going out into the world where you might know people with depressive or anxiety based disorders. 

Without ever going into the science of this argument (which, working for a Chiropractor I have heard on numerous occasions, and I am going to go ahead and say:  Not all drugs are bad), I am going to say what is so very, very wrong with this image.

What this image portrays, particularly to someone with Major Depressive Disorder, is that medication offers no hope of "fixing" you or "helping" you with that depression.  I have spent 14-16 years with depression (I can't really pinpoint where it started).  And for all of those years, with the exception of this last one, I have been absolutely terrified of "going on meds" because of messages like these: 

• "The Meds won't work"
• "you'll feel like a zombie"
• "It will just get rid of all your emotions, not just the sad ones"
• "They won't cure you"
• And so on...

So for at least 14 years I have suffered, I have looked for alternate methods of making the pain go away, and I have avoided medication for my depression.  I have tried every herbal supplement, every diet change (including a 1 year period in which I had an eating disorder and was surviving on basically spinach and mushrooms - take that "sugar and wheat are causing your depression" rhetoric and shove it up your ass), and every lifestyle change I could find (exercise, sun lamps, forcing myself out of the house because it was supposed to make me like life?)  I work for a chiropractor and get free massages - Chiropractic and Massage certainly didn't cure me (they helped in so many other ways, and made the psychological pain easier to bear because my body wasn't in pain, so not knocking Chiro/Massage, just saying it didn't cure my depression).  Yeah, I was hopeful that all of these methods would work, because that was how they were presented to me - just as medications were presented without hope.

Do you know what has helped?  In the last year I have started taking medications for my depression.  It takes time to find the right medication - because what they are treating is the underlying chemical deficiency in my brain that causes me to feel depressed.  Oh, what's that you say?  I'm treating the cause of the illness?  Yeah.  I know.  And like magic things are getting better. 

But what does this image leave me with?  It leaves me with that same sensation that I shouldn't be on medications because they won't work or make me better.  Which, quite frankly, is bullshit.  A lot of medications do just treat the symptoms - symptoms that are important to treat (like, say, insulin treating Type 1 diabetes - it isn't going to fix the pancreas, but it will stop someone from dying).  This image removes hope.  If you are suffering from a life threatening illness (which depression very much IS), an image like this could lead you to avoiding treatments that will legitimately help your life.

So what is the importance of hope?  Hope keeps people alive.  Hope breaks the stigma.  Hope tells people that there is a way to feel better, to treat their depression, and to come out on the other side stronger.  Hope doesn't debate the science, it just gives you options.  Why should we remove medications as an option if they work?  Why should it matter if they are treating a symptom or a cause?  These are things that are shown to help in legitimate, scientifically proven ways.  We shouldn't be removing them from the healing equation.  

So to make this post feel better, here is my hope:  You can find a way to treat your depression.  You can feel better and actually enjoy life.  You aren't defined by your illness and you will get better.  It won't always be easy - you may have to try a few things to get there - but you should TRY.  Try any and every method of treatment.  Give each one at least 30 days to see if they are helping, and don't be scared to discard a method that doesn't help.  Medications might help!  They won't make you a zombie or remove your emotions all together, and the right medication could be your  lifeline.  

When you are liking or sharing images on facebook, take the moment to ask yourself "Does this message have hope?  Does it remove an avenue of help from someone? Should I avoid posting this in the fear that it might hurt someone's ability to hope?"

Here are the images I am choosing to replace this image in my mind:

These images are hopeful.  They don't tear people down.  And they voice my overwhelming cry - END THE STIGMA of mental health being taboo to talk about.  End the stigma of accepting any and every potential form of help.

Finally, and most importantly, if you are feeling suicidal, or just need a little help, please reach out and ask for help.  YOU matter, and there is hope.  You can always reach me via the comments.  You can ask a friend for help.  You can call the lifeline and they will connect you to valuable resources.  You matter and I want you to stay alive.  You are not your illness, and you'll find the right way to treat your illness.